Bitch Beer’s Official Super Bowl XLVII Drinking Game

ray-lewis austin beerworksI love football. There’s nothing quite like drinking a cold craft beer and munching on some queso while watching a bunch of muscley, sweaty men beat the fuck out of each other and shouting at the TV either in celebration when your team intercepts the ball and returns it for a touchdown or cursing like a sailor when Dez Bryant drops his third pass that day because, like, seriously Dez, WTF? But I digress.With Super Bowl XLVII this Sunday and as the only Bitch Beer girl who can name all 32 teams in the NFL and can still remember the ’93 Super Bowl when the Cowboys annihilated the Bills, it’s time for a good football-themed drinking game. Whether you’re a Ravens or 49ers fan, a new commercial lover or just there to see Beyonce *cough, lame* this drinking game is sure to get everyone nice and boozed up.

Drink every time:

  • You see a beer commercial that’s more focused on skinny betches than beer.
  • Ray Lewis does his signature dance.
  • Colin Kaepernick kisses his tattoos.
  • The camera stays on a cheerleader for more than 3 seconds.
  • Someone talks about the fact that it’s a Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh game.
  • The camera shows a celebrity at the game.
  • Someone talks to Frank Gore and you can’t understand a fucking word he says.
  • David Akers misses a field goal.
  • Someone talks about Ray Lewis’ drug accusations.
  • A football player from the winning team gives an interview while holding a small child
  • You see Flacco’s burly unibrow
  • A commercial features a talking baby/animal/thing that shouldn’t be talking
  • The team you’re rooting against scores.
  • They show montages of New Orleans.
Finish your beer if:

  • Beyonce lip synchs.
  • Two or more people at your party or bar get in a fight over the game
  • The Ravens win.
  • The players pour a gallon of Gatorade over the winning coach.
  • A football player cries.
  • There’s a wardrobe malfunction during Half Time. (Chug a second beer if it’s a nip slip)
  • You’re still not drunk by the end of the game. Bitch.

So don your favorite football jersey, grab a cold brewski and enjoy the last pro football game until next September. And remember, even if your team loses, just be happy you’re not like me – a born and raised Cowboys fan

-Holly

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